Make vulnerability your best friend

In “Dare to Lead”, Brené Brown defines a leader as “anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes, and who has the courage to develop that potential.”
 
This responsibility is often what makes being a people leader so rewarding.
 
But, one of the burdens that comes with leadership, which isn’t talked about enough, is the pressure to feel like you need to know everything. 

You may ask yourself; how can I bear the responsibility of finding and developing my team’s potential if I’m not yet a true expert, shouldn’t I know everything? 

The issue with feeling pressure to know everything is the misconception that if you dare utter “I don’t know” is that you’re a worse leader for it.
 
Not knowing the answer to a question, how to replicate a process, or speak to a topic is what too often pulls at the confidence strings of even the most tenured, impactful, and respected leaders.
 
And for some, saying “I don’t know” can cause a visceral reaction - you’d freeze, and your eyes would widen, or you’d babble and lose value in the conversation.

But, as Brené suggests, we need to remember that vulnerability lives “…at the core of all emotion. To feel is to be vulnerable” and that we are no less human than the people we lead. 

In other words, the myth that vulnerability equates to weakness couldn’t be any farther than the truth.

Rather, pausing for moment and being vulnerable enough to say “I don’t know” displays strength in your emotional and leadership complex and will make a far greater impact on you and your team than stumbling for an answer. 

This is because vulnerability intrinsically builds trust, and, as Steven Bartlett discusses on Rich Roll’s podcast, vulnerability is magnetic, and people will inevitably follow suit.
 
So, as Brené concludes, “if we want people to fully show up, unarmored, we have to create a culture where people feel safe, seen, heard, and respected” and this culture starts with you creating the environment for yourself.  

Tell yourself it’s “OK” to not know something, and next time you find yourself in this vulnerable position show your people some radical candor that you, indeed, do not know the answer to what they are asking! 

When you open the door, your team will follow and you’ll get more authentic feedback and commitment from your people.  

What’s also impactful about vulnerability and its direct tie to trust is that we can also apply it to brainstorming and problem solving, which are innately creative exercises and vital to innovation. 

We’ve even gone to the lengths to create brainstorming and problem-solving frameworks, such as Design Thinking, Lean Six Sigma, and Lean Startup, so that we can drive and replicate positive outcomes.  

However, in her Northwestern University Kellogg School of Management study, Professor Leigh Thompson poses that we can foster an environment that makes brainstorming or problem-solving sessions even more effective, beyond what a framework can provide. 

Guess what? Vulnerability has something to with it.

In the first round, three groups of students were separated ahead of their respective brainstorming exercises. The first group was asked to share with each other their proudest accomplishment and the second what they are most actively embarrassed by; the third was a control group.
 
The findings? “Participants who had recounted an embarrassing [vulnerable] story generated significantly more ideas than those who recounted a proud moment” and the control group “performed” nearly identically to the ‘proud moment’ group. 

From there, Professor Thompson conducted a second round of the study to evaluate the impact of vulnerability on idea quality, not just volume. Plus, this time, the participants were people managers from actual companies.
 
The outcome? The second group produced 26% more ideas, which was consistent with the first study, but across 15% more categories - meaning that idea quality also increased.

Why? Establishing a culture of vulnerability helped participants lower their guards, voice even the most preconceived ‘stupid’ ideas with less hesitation, and truly flex the right sides of their brains. 

While the study acknowledges that many factors beyond vulnerability also contribute to the outcomes of brainstorming sessions, vulnerability yet again shines and can lead to more effective ideation. 

But let’s be clear, simply telling your people that you don’t know the answer to something or by asking them to share embarrassing stories are just small ways you can build trust with and amongst your team.
 
My recommendation: make vulnerability your best friend so that you consistently deposit into your team’s “trust piggy bank”.  

Trust that vulnerability pays dividends now and for eons to come.